? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
