i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
