in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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