Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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