i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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