You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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