Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
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First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize