hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
