I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
