the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
