6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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