totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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