im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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