Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize