Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
