Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
