actually, I'm a sock model
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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