Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
