two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
