the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
