Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
