ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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