Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
please come you make the beer taste better
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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