she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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