Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
