I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
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