Dual....:-)
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
