then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
