Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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