so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm too high and old for this...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize