I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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