So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
