morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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