fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
