I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
