I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
