So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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