what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
