My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
