dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
