you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize