grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
