It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize