I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
