They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
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Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping