maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
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I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO