She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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