I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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