just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
