all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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