Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
