His pubic hair was longer than his dick
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
As shirtless as possible
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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