I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize