stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
