I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
