the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
