Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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