never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
