'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
