I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize