He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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