I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i believe in u and ur pee
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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