There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low