Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.