then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
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hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.