Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!