We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
