So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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