Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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